Legal stuff: This is not fanfic, but a record of roleplay done
with permission from Anne McCaffrey.
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Log file from Kariel.
3/3/00 4:02:25 PM
Lower Caverns -- Starmount
Kariel is sitting against the wall next to the tunnel to the infirmary,
head on her knees.
Annaly strides in, slapping her riding gloves against her leg with
obvious irritation. She stops short at the sight of Kariel, a flash of
intense relief crossing her face. "If you /ever/ disappear like that again,
I /swear/ to Faranth I'll... well, I don't know, but you /won't/ like it."
Kariel lifts her head slowly. Her cheeks are tearstained, and her eyes
are red from crying, though she isn't anymore. At least, she wasn't until
she saw Annaly. "Annaly! Oh, shards, what am I going to do?" she sobs,
dropping her head back on her knees.
Annaly blinks and kneels down on the floor. "Oh Kari," she sighs, wrapping
her arms around her friend's shoulders. "You're probably going to cry a
lot more, but it's going to be alright," she murmurs softly. "You just
scared us so badly, disappearing like that."
Kariel's shoulders heave as she sobs. "He...I...there are so many things
I need to tell him, and I can't! So many things he'll never know..."
Annaly swallows hard, on the verge of tears herself. "I know," she
whispers, fighting them back. "You can't dwell on it though, Kari. It only
makes it worse."
Kariel sniffles. "We...We were together that last night," she whispers.
"I mean, /really/ together. I'll never get to tell him how special it was
for me. Or how much I love him. He'll never know those things."
Annaly's eye widen, then squeeze close against a vivid look of pity.
"Oh Kari..." she murmurs, squeezing tight. "You may not be able to tell
him, but he knew. I /know/ he knew."
Kariel closes her eyes, and swallows hard. "There's one other thing
he'll never know, and there's know way he could have known, or even expected,"
she whispers, her choked voice barely audible.
Annaly awkwardly slides down to a sitting position, keeping close contact.
"What is that?"
Kariel slips a hand between her things and torso, resting it against
her belly. "About his child. Our child." She turns wide, tearful, terrified
eyes towards Annaly. "Shards, Annaly, what am I going to /do/?"
Annaly sits back, all the color draining out of her face in a rush.
"Kariel..." she says slowly, "are you /absolutely/ sure? There's no mistake?"
Kariel gestures helplessly at the infirmary. "I just got it confirmed.
Annaly, what'll I do?" she wails, clinging desperately to her friend. "Now
that I need him most, he's not here. He'll never be here. and it's...all.../her/...fault!!!"
Annaly closes her eyes, really struggling against bursting into tears
at the tragedy of it all. Taking a deep breath, she hugs Kariel close.
"Don't worry about what you'll do, Kari. I'm here now and T'suki will be
soon, too. You'll have plenty of people to take care of you if you need
us." She pointed ignores the reference to 'her', knowing good and well
who 'she' probably is.
Kariel just clings to Annaly, her sobs becoming uncontrollable.
Annaly shhs, simply stroking Kariel's hair and back, like she would
with a small child, even rocking a little. "It's going to be alright. I
promise, you, Kari. It's going to take some time, but it really will be."
Kariel sniffles. "Only one night, Anna. The happiest night of my entire
night, by far. And now he's gone."
Annaly sighs, a few silent tears escaping her. "But just think, Kari,
you have part of him with you. His child. I know it doesn't make up for
not having Ked, but it's something. Something very special."
You say "But...I...want.../him/!"
Annaly finally gives up and cries softly with her friend. "I know.
He was a very dear friend to me, Kari. It's the not the same, but I know."
Kariel is crying to hard again too reply, but does give a squeeze of
acknowledgement.
Annaly sniffs softly, reigning herself in once again. "Faranth, I wish
Tas were here. Not that he wouldn't be completely hopeless in dealing with
all this," she laughs tearily. "He'll be here soon, though. I meant what
I said, Kari. We've left Igen."
Kariel dashes at her eyes, trying to regain calm. "Be-because of me?"
she asks, bewildered.
Annaly shrugs a little. "Partially. I've been going crazy trying to
find you since... well..." she trails off, not wanting to give words to
the tragedy. "Kitaeli tried to demand that I not leave the weyr to look
for you. I told her I didn't give a good damn what she wanted and she basically
tossed me out. Tas is wrapping up a few thing and he'll be along in a few
days, hopefully."
Kariel hiccups. "I thought she was my friend, once," she sniffles.
Annaly shakes her head. "Don't think about it, Kariel. The last thing
you need to do is focus on her."
Kariel's eyes narrow. "She killed him, Annaly. She stole him from me."
Annaly shakes her head again. "I'm serious, Kari, don't think about
it. Being upset like this can't be good for the baby. And what would Ked
think if he knew you weren't taking care of his son or daughter. You /know/
how he felt about his children."
Kariel squeezes her eyes shut, and grimaces. That got her. "All right,
Annaly, I'll try not to think about her. For Ked's sake, and our child's."
Annaly nods firmly. "Exactly." She stands, pulling you up with her.
"Now, tell me when the last time you ate something was. I have a feeling
it wasn't recently."
Kariel shrugs. "I had a half a meatroll...yesterday?"
Annaly mmms darkly, glancing around the hall. "That's going to have
to change. And right away, too. Now if I could only find my way around
this sharding maze," she mutters, heading off in the direction of the living
cavern, towing Kariel behind her.
You walk up to the living cavern.
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